My Dad's Wild Heart

Yesterday we went to see my dad.  Haven’t seen him since New Year’s.  It was a good visit.

For many years I had wanted to give him Wild at Heart, but the timing wasn’t right, either in him, or me.  In me, mostly.  I was for the most part holding too high of expectation from the book for him.  Wanting it to change him like it did me.  Wanting Jesus to be real for him.  A selfish thing.  A good thing.  But a selfish thing.

Yesterday was different though.  I was free of all the expectation.  I was free to be a man…still his son but a man with my own story, my own voice, my own weight and glory to my life.  With a real and True Father.  Separate from the emotion, separate from the demands on him  to get “saved.” And somehow free to have him prove to me that I was “right” and he was “wrong” all this time.   Again, a selfish thing.  I was free from all of it.

I also gave him a copy of my book, Passage to Manhood. If you have read it, you know I address my story of hurt and confusion with my dad in the very first part.  I felt for the longest time that this would hurt him to read this, and so I didn’t give him a copy until now…a year after it has been printed.   But, this is my story, and what happened was how I interpreted the events that were going on in my young, naïve and broken heart at the time.   There is a redemptive piece in the book as well.  But, I was free to let the weight of my story be felt by others…why not my dad?  So I gave it to him, along with WaH.

In the front cover I wrote that  the message in Wild at Heart saved my life.  I wrote that I loved him.  That I think he is a good man with a good heart.  That I think he has what it takes.  That I’m proud of him.

For the benefit of my dad, it is good for me to be what has been said of God…”Wild, dangerous, unfettered, and free.”

It is good be my own man.  It is good to see my dad not as my dad.  But as a man.  Man to man we are.

It is good to be free.

Kevin

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